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How night weaning my toddler HELPED my business…

Night Weaning my toddler was pretty hard, but it helped me in my business today… 

If you’ve taken the night weaning course, you’ve heard me tell this story. So, I apologize for re-telling it here today. 

One of the things I love about parenting is how much I have learned from my kiddos. I know that might sound a bit overly cheesy. But I really truly believe our children are sent to GROW US UP into the people we are most meant to be. 

My business has been a pretty successful entity for me. I am grateful for it every day, and especially in covid times.. I am so grateful for the flexibility it has offered me. 

But my kids are the real unsung heroes of this business. Yes, I learned a lot from reading. I learned a lot from mentors in the baby sleep industry. I learned a lot from reading developmental journals, books, and blog posts. But, my children are the ones who have taught me the most essential lessons I needed to learn to do this job, and do it well. 

Night weaning my youngest son was a trip. I did it 100% on my own. My partner is a loving awesome human being, but in the middle of the night he seems to turn into some kind of banshee.. That coupled with my “control freak by nature” status meant that I would be handling the night weaning 100% solo. 

I waited ‘til I was BEYOND ready to go through the big emotions that I knew this experience would present me with. And at almost 14 months, I finally ripped the band-aid off. It was HARD and my littlest cherub was MAD. ha! He wanted boob, and he wanted it bad. 

But I was ready. I got his water bottle ready. I had my empathic responses prepared. Sports bra on. Turtleneck on. (So that he wouldn’t be able to get his feisty little hands down my shirt. ha!). And we rode the wave of big feelings together. 

Really, I can’t describe in a few words what this experience was like for me as a breastfeeding parent, and for him as a breastfeeding baby. But, what I do know is that going through this experience in saying no and holding space for him as he expressed tears of futility actually strengthened our bond. 

Do I always recommend a breast/chestfeeding parent night wean baby? No. No I don’t. But for some families, this is really the only way to go and it is what works best. I am grateful to have had this experience because it really shaped how I prepare families for the night weaning experience, and helped me write my course Night Weaning for Toddlers

If night weaning is on the horizon for you; I highly recommend you check the course out! There are so many awesome features that can help you with this experience and now you know, I really truly know how emotional this experience might be for you. 

XO

Lara 

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3 Things I Learned From My Baby’s Sleep

I always say that our children can be our BEST teachers if we are open to seeing all of the gifts of introspection and reflection they carry with them. Here are a few of the learnings I had as a result of living with two challenging sleepers. I hope you can enjoy, or at the least, relate.

1. Baby sleep is not linear

While it is true that baby sleep does improve in a linear trend over the first 5 years of a child’s life, that first 18 months is incredibly variable. I remember thinking.. Okay! I will work on my baby’s sleep when they are 6 months old, and then I will have a good sleeper for LIFE! This is not true. Our babies are firing more neurons per second in their brains at any given moment than there exists websites on the internet. We are talking millions of neurons per second. That is a lot of tabs to have open at once! As a result, their sleep is disrupted. Developmental changes present our babies with advanced gross motor skills, advanced cognitive skills. They have to work through this stuff! 

How this knowledge can help you: Know that your baby’s sleep pattern worsening is likely not a reflection you have done anything wrong. If your child was previously sleeping pretty well, in a developmentally appropriate way for their age, then their most recent sleep slide likely means something is happening for them. We can greet this sleep regression with patience and empathy, knowing seeing them is normal.  

2. Sleep time is not the only place parenting happens 

When my children were not sleeping well, I was 100% lazer focused on their sleep. I became so obsessed with tracking night wakings, and analyzing nap timing that I sort of lost sight of the big picture. We are in a relationship with our children for a lifetime. There is so much parenting that happens outside of those hours at night. I remember beating myself up over whether or not my nighttime responses were empathic enough, loving enough, engaged enough…. But what I forgot about was all the loving, empathic, engaged, awesome stuff that was happening during the day. That stuff counts too! The time where your child does not sleep well will be but a tiny blip on the timeline that is their life. We are talking about these kiddos growing to be 80 – 100 years old! You’ve got a lifetime to imprint what you’re hoping to. It’s not all about the sleep. 

How this knowledge can help: My hope is that you will give yourself some grace in knowing that you are showing your kiddo BIG love around the clock, and this counts for something! 

3. Learning to validate big feelings at sleep times has helped my parenting 

I used to be scared of my children’s cries… I’m not going to lie. I used to want to quite literally be as far away as possible from them! It made me feel so uncomfortable to hear them upset, and if I couldn’t “fix it” right away, I felt like a totally incapable caregiver. Shouldn’t I know what my baby needs? But the truth is; we cannot possibly know what our kids need 100% of the time and sleep times can be met with big feelings and unpredictability. But being there as their rock, being a reliable and predictable caregiver, that is super important! Responsive and respectful caregiving means that we accept our children’s emotions (no matter how ugly), we get curious about what is going on for them, and then we offer them empathy. The more that I learned to sit with my kiddo’s big emotions, the better I got at it! The more I offered myself empathy in knowing it was okay to just BE with them rather than FIX it for them, the more comfortable and confident I became as a mother. 

How this knowledge can help: Being with our kids through their big emotions is something that is likely to happen all of their lives! When you can be with your child through their feelings, you will increase your threshold for it. 

XO 

Lara 

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Should you sing your baby to sleep?

Should you sing your baby to sleep? 

Over the past few years my practice in sleep coaching has evolved. I ask parents to respond to their babies. This means validating a baby’s cry, using touch while the little one learns to settle in a different way, and responding with voice, eye contact, and constant reassurance if the changes we are making are met with tears. 

Babies are sensory creatures. We know this. And when you add in many layers of comfort and connection, sometimes you end up with an overstimulated babe who won’t be soothed by anyone! 

This is a place of frustration I really try to help families avoid. 

One of the “things” I have found myself telling parents to do while settling their babies is sing. 

At the time I started to offer this advice, I really didn’t know why I kept suggesting it. It had worked well for me personally, but I really hadn’t stopped to think too much about why this was a success, and if there was any science behind it. 

When my